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The reason I choose to include this chapter is that the people closest to you are involved in this too. People, who love and/or care about you, will feel your pain as well, and therefore it is so very important that they understand what you are going through.

Here are some very important points for the family & friends to understand:

If you know a person experiencing BMS, it's very important that you understand what it is he/she is dealing with.

The first issue is that it's very difficult to define the pains or feelings in the mouth to others. Sometimes it's like a burning sensation, sometimes it's like you've been drinking something much too hot, other times it's just an indefinable, more or less painful sensation. So if you don't get a straight answer when you ask how it feels, this is why. Furthermore, the symptoms vary a lot - even during the day. Some days are good and some days are bad. But make no mistake - even the lightest symptoms can have a huge psychological effect. Especially if they come after a long good period without, or with only minimal, symptoms.

The anxiety and fear connected with BMS can be just as hard to cope with, as the physical symptoms. So don't be surprised to find that the person you care about can be scared or sad, even without the physical symptoms. That's why we must all aknowledge the psycological aspect of this syndrom.
The intensity of the symptoms of BMS changes a lot. In periods they can be overshadowing everything else, and for the person inflicted, it might be difficult to talk- or concentrate about anything else. Then the very next day, the symptoms can have decreased, and then the last thing you want to talk about is BMS, because you try to gain some distance to it. Of course this is confusing for the persons close to you, because they won't know if it's okay to ask how you're feeling. My opinion is, that it's better to ask too much than too little. So don't worry about asking too much, but saying that, I've always felt better when people just asked plain and simple, instead of looking very worried about me. When people look worried, to me, it's like a mirror of an unpleasant situation which I don't like to see
Something that is a certain source of irritation to me is when people ask me how my mouth is. And especially if they ask me in front of people who haven't been introduced to the problem.

The first issue here is that the state of the physical symptoms isn't necessarily a good indicator of my general well being. The symptoms in my mouth can be non-existent, and I'm still not on top because of the psychological symptoms. And vice versa. And asking questions about a person's mouth in front of others will undoubtedly catalyze questions you don't necessarily want to answer.

Having pains and burning sensations in your oral mycoses isn't something everybody can relate to, and I have often wished that I had lost a leg instead of getting BMS, because then people would clearly be able to see why my mood, at times, was so low. So discretion is important, and if you are included in the sufferer's problems, it's most likely a sign of trust and confidence. So please keep that in mind.

If you love somebody who has Stomatodynia and you feel sad on his/hers account. It isn't helping you nor the one you love. I know this might sound hard, but don't let it diminish your life. Give the person a good reason to go through the rough periods instead of feeling sad for him/her. Show all the love and care you have, but take time to be yourself to. That's my personal experience. Take it for what it is.


	The reason I choose to include this chapter is that the people closest to you are involved in this too. People, who love and/or care about you, will feel your pain as well, and therefore it is so very important that they understand what you are going through. Here are some very important points for the family & friends to understand: If you know a person experiencing BMS, it's very important that you understand what it is he/she is dealing with. The first issue is that it's very difficult to define the pains or feelings in the mouth to others. Sometimes it's like a burning sensation, sometimes it's like you've been drinking something much too hot, other times it's just an indefinable, more or less painful sensation. So if you don't get a straight answer when you ask how it feels, this is why. Furthermore, the symptoms vary a lot - even during the day. Some days are good and some days are bad. But make no mistake - even the lightest symptoms can have a huge psychological effect. Especially if they come after a long good period without, or with only minimal, symptoms. The anxiety and fear connected with BMS can be just as hard to cope with, as the physical symptoms. So don't be surprised to find that the person you care about can be scared or sad, even without the physical symptoms. That's why we must all aknowledge the psycological aspect of this syndrom. The intensity of the symptoms of BMS changes a lot. In periods they can be overshadowing everything else, and for the person inflicted, it might be difficult to talk- or concentrate about anything else. Then the very next day, the symptoms can have decreased, and then the last thing you want to talk about is BMS, because you try to gain some distance to it. Of course this is confusing for the persons close to you, because they won't know if it's okay to ask how you're feeling. My opinion is, that it's better to ask too much than too little. So don't worry about asking too much, but saying that, I've always felt better when people just asked plain and simple, instead of looking very worried about me. When people look worried, to me, it's like a mirror of an unpleasant situation which I don't like to see Something that is a certain source of irritation to me is when people ask me how my mouth is. And especially if they ask me in front of people who haven't been introduced to the problem. The first issue here is that the state of the physical symptoms isn't necessarily a good indicator of my general well being. The symptoms in my mouth can be non-existent, and I'm still not on top because of the psychological symptoms. And vice versa. And asking questions about a person's mouth in front of others will undoubtedly catalyze questions you don't necessarily want to answer. Having pains and burning sensations in your oral mycoses isn't something everybody can relate to, and I have often wished that I had lost a leg instead of getting BMS, because then people would clearly be able to see why my mood, at times, was so low. So discretion is important, and if you are included in the sufferer's problems, it's most likely a sign of trust and confidence. So please keep that in mind. If you love somebody who has Stomatodynia and you feel sad on his/hers account. It isn't helping you nor the one you love. I know this might sound hard, but don't let it diminish your life. Give the person a good reason to go through the rough periods instead of feeling sad for him/her. Show all the love and care you have, but take time to be yourself to. That's my personal experience. Take it for what it is.